The Mysteries Of Life

Saturday, October 17, 2009

10/17/2009 01:07:00 AM

Lots of things have happened, on blog, on facebook... I have learnt a lot and i just want to say this, in case you can't see my note on facebook, here it is.

~Well, lots of things have happened lately. And because of that, i'm going to write a note to all those who are involved somehow. I know it's a bit late, for i have not been in facebook for a few days... And looking at stella's note just reminded me that maybe, i should too, apologize and say thank you.

Thinking back at the first part of the year, i think i may have been really irritating and all. I have to say so sorry. I didn't mean to. I guess it's just the new school environment and all is getting to me. And i have to say, like stella, thank you for waking me up. I guess i've been so blind and all, and prob... um... childish? Haha. I'm woken up and i guess i've grown up too. Nobody's perfect and we all make mistakes. Silly and stupid ones. i make silly horrible stupid ones too. Truth hurts, ya i know. Words kept too long in your heart can stifle you, so i hope after you said it out, you feel better and i, will look and think, and change.

So much have happened this year, and i'm just going to say, sorry if i have hurt you, and thank you for waking me up. I'll try my best to treat you with a fair judgement from now on. Thank you to those who also gave me support when i needed and helped me somehow. Thank you. ~

Dont speak
I cant believe, this is here happening
Our situation isnt right
Get real, who you playing with
I never thought youd be like this
You were supposed to be there by my side

When you say that you want me
I just dont believe it
Youre always ready to give up and never turn around

But what if I need you baby
Would you even try to save me
Or would you find some lame excuse to never be true
What if I said I loved you
Would you be the one to run to
Or would you watch me walk away without a fight

Im so sick of worrying that youre gonna quit over anything
I can trip and you let go like that
And everything that we ever were
It seems to fade, but not the hurt
Cause you dont know the good things from the bad

When I say that I want you
You know that I mean it
And in my hour of weakness
Theres still time to try

But what if I need you baby
Would you even try to save me
Or would you find some lame excuse to never be true
What if I said I loved you
Would you be the one to run to
Or would you watch me walk away without a fight

Everytime I speak you try and stop me
Cause every little thing I say is wrong
You say youre noticing, but youll never see
This is who I really am but you cant relate
Makes me wanna know right now if its me youll live with out
Or would you change your mind?

What if I need you

But what if I need you baby
Would you even try to save me
Or would you find some lame excuse to never be true
What if I said I loved you
Would you be the one to run to
Or would you watch me walk away without a

Oh baby what if I need you

Yeah, yeah

What if I need
what if I need you

Oh what if I need you

If I need you, you you

This i guess, will be my last and final post on this blog. I have learnt to let go and move on. What's done cannot be undone. Looking back at my posts, i've been childish and insensitive. Thus, i'm so sry but i'm now closing down this blog. Thank you all for the support and thank you all for visiting my blog. Thank you and i'll love you all always!

Forever and always,
Winter aka Xmx

GOODNIGHT & GOODBYE .

9/27/2009 05:46:00 AM

Hi! Lately was really busy with exams and everything. SO i did not have a chance to post. About some very interesting ppl and stuff they wrote on my Cbox. Let's just say i'm replying tags huh? OK. SO let's SUM up what they said.

Rulangnite

Oh well, you can count papaya long face too
anyway, if you count beautiful features as fat and red lower lips, and contorted eyes.
I'm sure Megan and gang would agree yea?
Well I think Xingyue and Fishy are prettier

Fishy

No harm you know
So dear wanna think about plastic?
EVERYONE thinks tat Xingyue's prettier
And btw nobody thinks you're pretty
Your superficial posts are not worth my tagging
Pretend all you want
And you don't have my code
So far there are 31 people surveyed (:
Ask anyone. 100% say I'm more matured than you are.

Xing Yue

i have enough of her. She try to piss me off again, this time, im serious. I am going to slap her
btw, tell stella to shut her ass up
And they don't act emo. or fake stories to gain pity points.
They do not know how to hold a racket. neither are they bimboic
tell u wat: Fiona and christalle are very popular in rulang. but guess wat
Want to appear sporty and cool so to became popular huh?
Cbox codes are very useful thing, unlike some people.
-.^ oh~ I see. OK. Look like you have been assuming too much.

Fishy
There you go
Wanna see my serious side?
And maybe you should rethink.
Heard of the proverb?
Empty vessels make the most noise
They continue smiling and cover up
NO
The wise ppl don't go around going MY GOSH I'M SO STRESSED

Xing Yue
right you are chio -.- puke.
chiobu means beauty. now brace myself for major puking

Anon
Fat hope
Anyone can see that you're a shallow puddle trying to be an ocean.
Drama much?
They're stupid all right.
(my posts)

OK. Tis is it. Sure. You can say WATVR u want. BUt do NOT insult my friends. N don think that changing your username make a difference. It's obvious enough when 2 'random' person posts on the same day. "i think xing yue and fishy is pretty" "Everyone thinks xing yue is pretty". Hey talk about where i have heard that b4? A rulangnite now shouldnt know Megan unless it's EX-rulangnite FROM 6R. N Is good friends with her. Simple. OH sure. You can say watvr you want about watvr i do, i say. Afterall, so far since P5. Since when have you not twisted watvr things i do into me,
1) ACting cool
2) Acting cute
3) Trying to attract guys
4) Flirting
5) Spreading rumours about it

Yeah. Same things again and again. First rumours, then insults, then now, say i'm ugly. SO looks like no guys in RGS so now to wat i look like, wat i post huh? SUre. This is MY blog. If you don like it you HAVE the free choice to GET out. Nobody's stopping u. I can be who i am. N i don need u to tell me how to LIVE MY life.

Sure. Keep talking. Me acting emo. LIke u dont? Me acting cute, cool. LIke you dont? Me ugly. Sure keep talking. If you think you are SO great. Y even bother coming to my tiny weeny blog and SPAM my Cbox? If you think you are SO popular. Then just ignore me. If not, you are just Being mean . Some ppl, though they are popular, they DO not go around, without a reason, shouting at ppl, Hey! You suck to the core! i'm going to kick your ass!

NO.

WEll, WATVR. Know another meaning for WATVR? Go check it out! Nicholas Sparks books are Useful in a way 2 huh?

Sure, keep talking. Insulting. YOU can act emo, act cute, act cool, while I DONT. Cuz watvr i do not like a 'normal' person, u'll ALWAYS be there to 'remind' me that hey! Stop trying to act cool, act cute, act emo. hey! U suck!

Tell you wat? i dont care! If you dont appreciate me as a friend. Sure. You dont like my blog? Sure~ Just GO AWAY? Is it that hard NOT to INSULT someone? Keep waiting and observing WATVR she does and posting about it, talking about it when its so obvious u are talking about her to your friends? What has she done? Ya sure. U 2 hate me to the core. U can say watvr u want, think however greatly of yourself. If you think INSULTING others are COOL , sadly to say, you ARE WRONG. ever get insulted b4? No. Cuz i don go around saying "you suck, your ugly, you are horrible".

OK. This is it. I'm gonna create another a blog. Mayb i'll give u all my address, mayb i'll put it private. BUt tell you wat? ONly SOME ppl get to go there?

As usual, a song~

Winter aka Xmx

Labels: Insults

GOODNIGHT & GOODBYE .

9/17/2009 04:35:00 AM

God... Thursday, FINALLY. The 1st week of school barely passed and i am dying... SO much things to learn for EYA and it's so HEAVY weightage!!!!! >< Oh god. At least i did OK for SA3... Sighs. Hope i can do well and go sucessfully to secondary 2.... God. Hope i pass LIT sia... DOn't be like finally pull my eng up n LIT drops.... T_T

ok. So ppl say my posts are emo... Puddle in ocean.... o.o Wat's TAT suppose to mean? unseen? Invisible? o.O

Oh well, About the emo part, that's what i mean by not telling too much out. Secrets, good for health sia... -- Afterall, this's just a BLOG. ONLINE blog. You can comment and think whatever way you want. If it's true, i'll change, if it's not. i dont care.

oh yes. This reminds me of CLE lesson.

Are you happy or joyful?

Ha. You may think. What's the difference? But i have to say. Happy is short. Joyful is forever. U think you can be forever simling and happy truly at heart? ya right. Maybe it's possible but not for me. There's so much things to do. More things to worry about... How can you be always happy and not troubled? o.o

Whatever it is. Good luck for your exams!

A song for you all!

Taylor Swift ~ You belong with me

The video's SO sweet!!! Finally found a good version! XD Enjoy!

TS ROCKS!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AHzIq_n-DQ

ok. the video's too big... so just click on the link and DaTa! ^^

Love,
Winter

GOODNIGHT & GOODBYE .

9/15/2009 06:12:00 AM

Haha. Was just looking, like really looking at my blogskin just now. Realized i actually really like it. ^^ Unravel the mysteries of life, we all evolve from simplicity...

it's kinda true... when we are first born, we are so pure, so simple, so... Innocent. As we grow, we learn things, the hard way or from others... Then we begin to be careful, more wary of others. It's so different in kindergarten isn't it? Innocent, no rumours, no teasings, Nothing. Just play, have fun. But now, we are stressed like crap and loads of things to take care of, 3rd lang, exams, ccas.... Lots of things now we have to decided by ourselves, ccas, subjects, whether give or take... Our parents are no longer the ones making the right decisions, but now, they are just guiding us, towards the right path. Sometimes, we fall, then we learn.

And now, we are all grown up. ^^ Matured. Different thinkings, different view of the world. Have you ever thought back to the time when you were a baby, a toddler, a kindergarten student, a primary school student, a secondary school student... Do you ever think the same way? Ha ha, if u do, Wow. :)

But either way, throughout this journey, i think maybe we should really try and find a good, true friend. A friend who'll stay by you no matter what and care for you (Ok. I admit... Too much Philosophy. But what can i do?? I HAVE to PASS it TO GO TO SEC 2!!!???!!!! ><)

Well, watvr, you get the idea. Treasure whoever's there for you. It's not easy to be that kind and giving nowadays. Sometimes, when you look back, you'll prob feel sad that you did not treat her well, treat her as a friend.

Ha ha. Enough emoing for today! XD I'm quite happy today, done Western Battle Trial for NCC. It's quite fun la. But the boots are seriously... o.o But overall, quite ok. Heard there's no more training til Oct. Hope so! ^^ Well, watvr it is. I just have to say, my life's quite boring. Still... Everyday, same thing, school, study, read... ^^ But not that bad la. AT least no ccas or enrichment stuff that have to stay back till damn late. Like i only CAME back at 9...

anyway
gtg
mum rushing me off the comp.

cya!

sry no song again....

Hasta La vista,
Winter

GOODNIGHT & GOODBYE .

9/12/2009 06:31:00 AM

People once asked me, why chose winter? The coldest season of the year.

Tell the truth, i also dono. I just like it. Like the snow, the coldness, the white, the purity...

I am born in Jan, on a snowing afternoon. Every since then, i Love snow. It's just so mystical, so beautiful. Winter, to me, is a season of lonliness and peacefulness. White covering the whole town, cold yet warm...

I think all seasons have their own symbolizm. Spring, the season of life, growth, the start of a new year, the start of growth of plants after cold winter... Summer, the season of fun, joy, warmth, happiness. Autumn, the season of sadness, heartbreaks... Winter, the season of lonliness, alone, cold yet peaceful... Alone, sometimes, may not be a bad thing, it's peaceful...

But alone is also bad, cuz u r lonely...

Each season has their own colour. Spring, green, Summer, red, Autumn, Orange, Winter, White or blue. Not so sure about spring or summer but that's the colours of the seasons in my heart. ^^

Well, watvr it is, i still like winter. ^^ it's so pure, so beautiful...

Ok. That's all. My thoughts...

haha. Thought too much again. Oh well. Really nothing to post about nowadays. Rachel once smsed me, "amuse me". Well, all i can say is, "how to amuse? when my life's so boring". Really. Everyday, same things. Comp, piano, hmwk, study... eat sleep... same things everyday, nothing new, nothing exciting. But oh well. We're still students but ya... Let's just all accept our label 'students'. Study, study and mroe study. Exams, ccas, our future.

My mum asked me, what you wish to be when you grow up? I was kind of hesitant. i donno. That's y i'm studying, but yet, i dont have a goal to head to. What i want to be? Seriously, i dono. Other people can say, doctor, lawyer, teacher... But me, nothing. I haven't thought of it. Don want the stress. What for? Giving ourselves stress to push ourselves harder, just for a dream. Yes, it's a good thing but again. Y? o.o y not just enjoy the purity of life now. Before it goes Bonkers... -'-

God. I must SERIOUSLY stop posting that personal stuff. Blog, Online Journal, Everyone reading what you post... N some ppl will give u the... Nvm. Forget it. That's life isn't it? If life's that simple, now there won't be anyone going crazy, nobody getting so stressed that they need to go see...

Oh well. Here's a song, Halo~Beyonce

suddenly thought of this song, lovely indeed. ^^ Her voice's really nice. Love it. ^^ A change from ashley tisdale i guess...
Stupid phone, when r u going to be okay? If this continues, my ears are goin deaf from so much earphones....

Well, that's all for today i guess.

Hasta La Vista,
Winter

GOODNIGHT & GOODBYE .

9/10/2009 06:09:00 PM

Today's Friday, last day of the hols. T.T So sad.... No more comp, no more slacking, no more waking up late and sleeping late, waking late... Sighs...

Yesterday's 1st day of the chess comp at nyp. It's really interesting. It's mindsports comp open. n I-chess is one of them. But then again, the atmosphere and format's so different from the Inter-school comp! It's so free, so cool! XD prob cuz there's only 8 teams... :P n 3poly teams, mayb only nan hua's the same age as us... T.T But so far we're 4th. Not bad right? :P

Oh yes, i'm going to go to nyp at Yio Chu Kang soon... what did i do today?

1) woke up at 7.40am
2) dress
3) comp
4) realize that my stupid phone's 'health''s going down, from no sound, to can't turn the button, to buttons going to have no sense to no mroe vibration....
5) Waiting for my dad to come home to change my phone...
6) waiting for my contract to end to change a new phone... ( That's it, no more sumsung for moi)
7) Waiting to go...
8) Going now.
.
.
.

God. i think i really needa go.

Bye!

Oh! Listen to Ashley Tisdale ~ Me without you! ~ SUper nice!! XD

p.s Wish us luck! (team comp for chess)

Hasta La vista,
Winter

GOODNIGHT & GOODBYE .

9/08/2009 06:39:00 PM

These few days are really frustrating and tiring. Feeling so lost and so tired. Having to cope with so many stuff... 3rd lang, exams, EYAs... N ccas... So tired...

Tried changing so many blogskins, just don't like the feel of it. Want to make one of my own, no feeling either. Sighs... Emoish. Thinking, too much...

Everyday, watchin as time passes by, worrying for everything. No life. That's what i thought. Is repeating everything you do considered? I wonder... Playing music, listening to music, making music. Maybe music's the best after all. At least it soothes my aching head.

Ah~ So tired, stressed. Well, guess i should feel fortunate. After all, fish's still stuck at home, pissed with no comp? I dunno. Sometimes, i dont even know who i am, what i want. Study, for studying, but then again, sometimes, i feel happy just studying. It's seems so pure, so different from what it is outside the books.

-really emo...-

><

Someone once asked me, are you happy? I was speechless. Am i happy? I seriously don't know. Maybe once in a while, but joyful. Not really. How can you be when everywhere you go, there's always the stress? Maybe it's not so strong now, but l8tr, when you start working, it'll be heavier. More responsibilities, deeper into the society.

Arrgh~ My thoughts are really jumbled up. Thinking TOO much. How i wish i can be simpler, back to when i was young, all the happy days without headaches, troubles... But it's hard to go back isn't it? That's growing up.

Wrote a compo about it. Felt so much better. :) Maybe words are really the expressions of feelings afterall.

Well, better go back to my routine. Tmr still have chess competitions. N badminton on Sat. :) One of the things i lk forward to is badminton. It's relaxing and i will not let anything dampen it.

Oh well. Realy gtg.

Myb shouldt put so much feelings for shows. Like people said. It's no good. Like taking out all your secrets for all to see? I dunno.

- Choices, Life's full of them. Good, bad. But whichever choice you choose, the consequence you have to face. Nothing can change it, nothing can change, in life, fate. -

Emotional Again,
Winter

GOODNIGHT & GOODBYE .